


Baking Bad

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Baking, Gen, crack and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 11:34:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki's misadventures in baking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baking Bad

Or Loki’s Misadventures in Baking Properly

It starts right after Loki learns to walk and talk.

Frigga has always been of the opinion that everyone should know something about cooking and particularly about baking, because baked goods bring comfort to everyone. She had tried to teach Odin a few basic recipes, but Odin was too busy being a king, so she set her sights on teaching her sons instead.

Thor and Loki sit amongst a hodge-podge of bowls and utensils. Thor bangs two spoons together, loudly, and Loki has his head in one of the bowls. Frigga removes the bowl from his head and says, “Okay, who wants to bake some bread?”

“I don’t,” Thor says. “I want to eat bread.”

“In order to eat it you have to bake it,” Frigga tells him.

“Make Loki bake it,” Thor whines. “I don’t want to.”

Loki peers at Thor with a small frown on his face. Frigga turns to him and asks, “Do you want to bake bread for your brother?”

Loki nods, looks at Thor, and says, “I’ll make it better, too.”

Thor just sticks his tongue out.

Frigga places Loki on the counter and gathers ingredients. “We’re going to make a sweet cinnamon bread today,” she tells him, placing a container of cinnamon right by Loki’s hand. “Your brother loves sweet things. Thor, are you going to help?”

“I’ll stand guard and make sure no one comes to take the bread away from us,” Thor tells her, drawing himself up to full height. He barely reaches the counter edge.

Frigga and Loki start sifting flour, and after they go through most of the ingredients, Frigga tells Loki to “add the special ingredient.”

Loki dumps the whole container of cinnamon on the dough. A cloud of the stuff wafts up from the cutting board and Frigga coughs.

“Loki,” she chokes, “that is too much.”

Loki giggles as the dust settles. “I wanted to make Thor a special bread,” he tells her proudly.

“Is it gonna taste bad?” Thor asks.

Frigga says, “It isn’t going to taste bad,” as she assembles the dough for heating.

While it bakes, she and Loki spend time cleaning up, and Thor doesn’t stop voicing his concern. “I don’t want Loki to poison me,” he says. “What if I die? Do I like cinnamon?”

“You love cinnamon,” Loki tells him.

“You won’t die,” Frigga says.

The bread is far too cinnamon-colored when it comes out, but Frigga places it on the table and cuts off a slice.

“Thor, try it!” Loki cries, eyes wide at his creation.

“I don’t know,” Thor says.

“Try it,” Frigga tells him, handing him the slice.

Thor takes a bite and his eyes widen. He puts a hand in front of his mouth, but Frigga leans forward and whispers, “Chew, swallow, and tell Loki you like it.”

Thor’s eyes are watering, but he chews and swallows and gasps for air before looking around Frigga to a smiling Loki. “That was great,” he says in a voice that sounds more like a squeak.

Loki laughs. “Have another!”

Thor runs out of the room.

**  
Baking never becomes a huge part of Thor and Loki’s education, and Frigga, despite all her time spent with Loki, teaches him magic instead of the art of making good food. Luckily, Loki is far better at sorcery than he is in the kitchen, otherwise she suspects they would all be dead.

Not that Loki stops cooking. She almost regrets showing him that anyone can make food if they have access to a kitchen (and even if they don’t).

They are young men, and it is the celebration of Thor’s first hunt. The chefs are roasting the bilgsnipe Thor fell in the forests, but Loki has plans of his own. He accosts Thor on the way to the feast and tells him, “I’ve made you a treat.”

Thor has had much experience with Loki’s treats over the years, the cinnamon bread having only been the beginning of a too long list of what Loki calls delicacies and what everyone else calls disasters.

Which is why he says, “I don’t want it.”

“Come on, Thor,” Loki says. “I made it specially for you. The least you could do is try it.”

Thor sighs. Loki is giving him a pleading look, and his eyes are wide and far too innocent. “Fine,” he says.

“Excellent!” Loki magics a plate of muffins from thin air.

“You meant now?” Thor asks in shock.

“Before you lose your appetite,” Loki tells him, holding the plate out.

Thor takes a muffin gingerly. It feels like a normal muffin. There is sugar dusted on top. He tastes a bite and is surprised—not a hint of cinnamon and it actually tastes good. He finished it and reaches out for another.

Loki is staring at him.

“These are excellent, brother!” Thor tells him. “Your baking skills have improved!”

Loki is still staring at him.

“What?” Thor asks through a mouthful.

“Nothing,” Loki says, and he and the plate of muffins disappear.

It isn’t until Thor arrives at the feast and everyone stares at him the way Loki had that he suspects a serious problem. It isn’t until Fandral pulls him aside and whispers, “Why is your face purple?” that he gets angry.

He finds Loki and pins him to the wall. “What did you do to me?”

“I didn’t know baking with magic was a bad idea!” Loki cries. “I swear I didn’t plan this.”

Thor lets go. “Please stop baking,” he says.

Loki draws himself up to full height. He isn’t taller than Thor. “I will not,” he says. “I will make you a delicacy that you will never forget.”

And then he disappears.

Thor wishes Loki would just walk away like a normal person.

**  
It is the night before Thor’s coronation and Frigga and Loki are in the kitchen, surrounded by seemingly every ingredient possible. Loki is up to his elbows in flour.

“You’re a talented young man,” Frigga says. Loki just stares at her. She adds, “I’ll make Thor a treat for tonight. You should stay with him.”

Loki gives Frigga a challenging look. “I’ll make it,” he says.

Frigga knows, at that moment, that there is no hope to dissuade him. So she goes to warn Thor.

Loki turns back to the counter and resumes triumphantly sifting flour.

Two hours later, and with absolutely no magic used, Loki has a plate full of slices of sweet breads for Thor to try. He brings the treats to Thor’s rooms and knocks on the door.

Thor opens the door, sees Loki and his plate of treats, and slams it shut.

Loki knocks again. “Thor, I promise I didn’t use magic. This is my gift to you on the eve of your coronation! Will you not take it?”

“I will not take it!” Thor calls through the door. “I turned purple last time.”

“You won’t turn purple this time,” Loki says. “I promise.”

“Was any cinnamon used?” Thor asks.

“No,” Loki says.

Thor can’t seem to think of anything else that might cause harm when baked into something, so he opens the door, just a crack, and peers at the treats before him.

“Mother warned me you were baking,” Thor says.

“How thoughtful of her,” Loki says. “Will you try these or not?”

“My coronation is tomorrow,” Thor says.

“I know,” Loki says. “The whole universe knows.”

“I can’t be purple,” Thor says.

“You won’t be purple,” Loki tells him.

Thor reaches out and gingerly picks up a slice of bread. It looks as a slice of bread should look, but feels a bit damp. “Why do you never eat your own creations?”

“Because I made them for you, not for me,” Loki scoffs. “Are you going to eat it or not?”

Thor takes a bite. And then another. It tastes a bit strange, and the texture is hard to deal with, but Loki looks so hopeful that he smiles and hums, “Mmmm…”

Loki smiles too. “Oh, Thor of little faith. See how wrong you were?”

Thor nods and finished off the slice. He feels sleepy, suddenly. “What is in this?” he asks.

“What you would expect,” Loki says, and Thor sighs in relief. Then he adds, “with a twist.”

“A twist?” Thor growls. He feels like he needs to lie down.

“A small twist,” Loki says.

“What kind of small twist?” Thor asks, leaning heavily against the door.

“Father’s strongest spirits, soaked into the bread,” Loki says, “for a delightful taste and a giddy feeling upon eating.”

“Loki!” Thor cries. “Even a small amount of that drink would be enough to make a man like me drunk! You do not use it in cooking unless you actually cook it.”

“Oh.” Loki frowns.

“Loki!” Thor cries, sagging further against the door.

“Well, you’ll wake up in time for the ceremony tomorrow,” Loki says. He vanishes.

Thor collapses onto the floor in an alcohol-induced sleep.


End file.
